Memories, Magical Food, and Family...LOVE!

No one likes to remember sad times.  No one likes to recount the moments that lead up to difficult news.  Interestingly enough, we discuss those times often.  Think about it.  Where were you on 9-11?  I was working as a school bus driver and was working in the office when the manager called me into his office and we watched in disbelief as videos were replayed again and again.  The phone at the garage began ringing.  Worried parents want their children to be returned home safely.  Questions about whether or not highways into Pittsburgh had been closed.  Was anything going to happen to their children?  Shanksville, Pennsylvania isn't that far from here, so it was scary!  I lived alone at the time and actually went back home and spent the night with my sister.  My boyfriend (now husband) was in Dallas on business.  He couldn't get a flight back.  He drove straight home from Dallas.  I just wanted everyone close to me to be close to me.

Last night while I was hanging out with two old friends Mike and Elda, we started talking about some tough times.  It was focused mainly on one of us.  Mike lost his father fourteen year ago that day.  His dad was a great guy.  He was a teacher that we all had and loved.  He was a big man with a big heart and is missed sorely.  Connecting to this story was Mike sharing about another family member taking her own life just two weeks ago.  This young lady was only thirteen, another tragic loss.

This conversation lead into a conversation about food. I know, it's an interesting segue.  It'll make sense to you in a minute.  Think about your favorite family food.  What is it?  Who makes it? How does that food make you feel?  What memories are connected to that food?  Do you know how to make it?  The real question is, could you recreate the food to taste exactly the same?  The answer is no!

We talked about Elda's father in law, our friend Matt's dad.  He was a quiet, kind Asian man.  He could take anything from the fridge, toss  it together in the wok, and put it over rice and it would be the most amazing thing you ever put in your mouth.  My plate would have a mountain of food.  It was all I could do to get to the bottom of it.  When I finished, he would ask if I wanted more.  UGH!  If I declined, he would ask if I didn't like it.  That was the furthest thing from the truth.  It was so delicious, but there wasn't any room in my tummy.  At Christmastime, he made egg rolls.  Every year, we got egg rolls for Christmas.  They were amazing.  Anytime my husband compliments an egg roll, I tell him that he has no idea what good is.  Those egg rolls were a crispy, veggie filled, slice of heaven.  Supposedly, my friend's brother has the recipe for the egg rolls.  Mike pointed out that no one could ever make those egg rolls like Matt's dad.  What was so special about those little babies?  What is it about family foods that have so much joy, memories, and good feelings cooked right into them?  Is that magic or love in there?  Could this be why family foods are so amazing and we can't have a gathering without them?

Another food we talked about was Mike's dad's pierogies.  This was a family affair.  Their family would make dozens upon dozens of those rich, delicious potato dumplings.  They had an assembly line with 36 pierogies being made at a time.  Tables and tables filled with people who love spending time together creating something.  Mike explained that the recipe is simple, but there's no way that they could made again to taste the way they once did.  It's got to be the love.

Why do we remember so many things?  We can't help ourselves.  It could be a smell, a song, a color and memories come flooding back.  We can't pick and choose what comes back to us.  It could be the most amazing times or the scariest, or saddest times.  Memories help to make us the people we are, constantly evolving; some for better, some for worse.  The magic about those memories is we can take ourselves back in time, if only temporarily.

Don't be sad about the memories.  Focus on the positive, the good times, and the accomplishments.  Pray for peace and hope.  Humans are amazing creations.  We build families, we share, we love, we discuss, and we can't help any of it.

If you have a family food, continue to make it, no matter how tedious or time consuming.  Everyone loves it!  Everyone appreciates it!  That food represents you and your family.  So much is tied to it.  Share the recipe.  Better yet, make it a family affair so those closest to you can join in making memories in the moment. Also later in life, there will be other memories tied to that food.  Savor the food and savor the moments.

Sending love to my grandma.  She passed many years ago.  She made the most amazing baked goods and spaghetti sauce.  Since she didn't write anything down, all I can think is that love made those foods what they were to me.  Love ya!

Thank you to Mike and Elda for a great evening!  Matt, we missed you.